Relationship [HACK Pt 1]

Teaching kids how to act around others can be tough. Kids usually think that the universe revolves around them. Here’s an easy hack to help your child. It’s the 11th Commandment of Relationships which begs to ask the question…

How do I feel about myself when I’m around you?

Like I said, kids can be self-centered. Asking the question helps them to seek to understand BEFORE being understood. Here’s how it works….

Ex: Kids not sharing toys, video games etc…

Child: Mom--Johnny won’t share!!

Parent: Is it your turn?

Child: No but I want it!!

Parent: It’s NOT your turn!

Child: I DON’T care—I want it now!

Parent: STOP! Look at mom’s eye’s, say “YES MOM!”

Child: Yes Mom (low voice)

Parent: Now how do you think it makes Johnny feel about himself when he’s around you?

Child: I don’t know?

Parent: Do you think he feels bad because you’re trying to take his turn--Is that being a good brother?

Child: No.

Parent: Do you think he feels good while he plays his turn, when you’re trying to take his turn?

Child: No.

Parent: Does acting selfish make your brother feel good?

Child: No.

Parent: Does this show love to your brother.

Child: No.

Parent: Don’t you want Johnny to be happy when he plays?
Child: Yes.

Parent: Now tell your brother your sorry and to have fun.

Child: Sorry, have fun…

Parent: Now that’s my big boy—I’m so proud of you…oxoxox <3

Here’s why this works…

1. We’re not giving in to the child’s whim.

2. We’re providing strict structure.

3. We’re asking questions NOT telling.

4. When we ask questions, it’s their idea NOT ours.

5. They become more aware of others feeling.

6. Kids want to please.

7. Kids love hugs and kisses!

Will this work with older kids? Of course, I didn’t learn to share until my forties 😉

Next post I’ll show you how it works with older kids.

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See you at the top!